*Please note this post contains certain topics that can be triggering*
A lesson I recently learned (and am totally guilty of having done it) is the need to have others agree with my point of view. There are so many topics that I feel like are polarizing people: presidential elections, abortion rights, vaccination, racism, religion, environmental issues, and many many others.
When the presidential election was happening last year, I remember thinking that others had to agree with my point of view; how could they see this topic any differently?? I didn’t understand. I advocated for my opinion and let the world know it. I unfriended people on social media if they had a different opinion, and I’m sure others unfollowed me too.
It wasn’t until earlier this year that I realized how unrealistic it was for me to think everyone should agree with me. While I have my stance on the above topics, I started seeing things from a different perspective. There are roughly EIGHT BILLION people on this planet. Why on earth did I think that everyone had to agree with my singular opinion??
As I started to unfold this revelation on different heavily-debated topics, such as the ones above. I started seeing a pattern. Segregation.
Presidential Election 2020*: Biden or Trump.
Abortion Rights*: Pro Choice or Pro Life (I feel like religion is tied into this too).
Vaccination*: Unvaccinated vs Vaccinated.
Racism*: Inclusive vs Racist.
Religion*: God vs No God; thinking one religion is better than another.
Environmental Issues*: Climate Change vs Climate Change Skeptic.
(*I’ve simplified it to make my point across various topics)
This is a pattern that has been happening for centuries.
And I am not saying that I am perfect and still don’t sometimes do this, it’s hard for me to see other people’s sides in topics like racism. But I am taking baby steps to try and humanize others with a different opinion than mine.
To clarify, I am not saying that by humanizing them I am agreeing with them. Rather, I am seeing that they are more than just their opinion. They are a human behind that opinion. Sometimes, I feel like learning about their childhood helps me understand why they think like they do. It helps me to have empathy for them as a human. It helps me realize that at the end of the day we are all just humans trying to be happy and find our purpose in this (sometimes scary) world.
Something I will briefly touch on is vaccinated vs unvaccinated debate: I’ve seen not just how the US is reacting, but how countries like Canada, Germany, Costa Rica, Italy, and so many others are unfolding this topic.
I’ve read articles of leaders saying “if you want to be a part of society, you have to be vaccinated”. This week I saw an image of an unvaccinated woman separated from her vaccinated male friend by a wire divider in a store in Germany. The shame feels so heavy.
So, I have to ask: when will this centuries-old cycle of segregation end? Not just for these current events, but for all future events and topics? When will we see that shaming others into submission is part of the problem? *No shame intended, just trying to open our eyes to this issue*
We are not all meant to be the same, but rather each individual filled with their own light, gifts, and beauty. When will shaming someone to fit into our truth become a thing of the past?
In a world where we feel like we need others to agree with us, we need to ask ourselves: why? Is it to validate our truth? Or something deeper than that?
What comes up when you do? Be honest with yourself.
In a time where there is so much fear of being “cancelled” by friends, family, strangers by saying or thinking the “wrong” thing: why don’t we celebrate our differences? I know, easier said than done. I get it, it can be frustrating when you feel like your voice isn’t being heard. Sometimes it seems easier to shut out the other opinions, it just seems simpler. Right? Something I have learned is that while it may seem simple in the short term, it’s not sustainable. (from personal experience) Why? Because let’s be honest, it’s unrealistic to think we will, in our lifetime, never come across someone with a different opinion than us. We can’t always run from it. Sometimes we have to face it.
I realize that changes like these don’t happen overnight. But rather, start with baby steps that seem doable, and not overwhelming (shout out to Jenna Zoe for sharing that tip!). Maybe next time you come across someone who doesn’t see eye to eye, think about how to come from a place of love rather than shame. (Obviously, it’s your prerogative and your right to do what you want though.)
I remember in my psychology class, learning about the bystander effect. My professor gave us the example of Catherine Susan Genovese. I couldn’t believe it at first, how could nobody call the police to get her help? How could not one person go down and help her?
It wasn’t until I actually experienced it this year, I have someone close to me that was physically assaulted and almost died from it. (I was not there, otherwise I would’ve tried to intervene) I was so livid to hear that not one bystander went to help, instead they watched and took videos to offer as evidence.
Not long ago, I read a story of a women who got sexually assaulted on a subway train with others on the same subway cart and they did nothing to stop it.
If these two examples show you that the bystander effect is very real, then we need to realize that it can happen on an even broader scale.
So, I reiterate: When will this cycle of segregation stop? Only when you stop it. Consider one person stopping it a baby step, another person stops the cycle too– another baby step. Before we know it, it’s a thing of the past.
