This blog post is about putting self obsession into a different light. While I definitely understand the negative connotations associated with self obsession, I would like to show you a new lens to see it through.
When you are confident and believe in your worth, you’re less likely to stand for being treated any less than what you think you deserve.
If only we all had that kind of confidence, or taught that when we were growing up. Right?
Sometimes it’s easy to start questioning our self-worth, whether that be through looks, smarts, or our Gifts that we have in this lifetime.
When we begin to question our self-worth and start to rely on external people or things to give us that validation, hello external validation, we are at the mercy of those external factors, which can get dangerous.
Why?
Everyone is going through their own self-discovery journey, and let’s say they wake up one morning feeling crappy about themselves, and the best they know how is to put others down to make them feel good, they will do it. Also, when we rely on others for validation, we are less likely to want to put up boundaries because we want to avoid offending and any confrontation.
Another way we can place our self worth into external things, that are socially acceptable, are our successful career, status, or relationship. These are all things that can change in a moment! As much as we want to plan our life, at the end of the day, we really don’t know what is going to happen.
I think it’s important to learn tools that can help us build our self-worth from within, because when we are confident in our self worth, we are less likely to be shaken when external things shift and change in our life.
I remember being in high school, likely 10th or 11th grade, and I was leaving a concert with my friends. I remember going upto somebody and I asked them to rate me on a scale of 1-10, thinking they would say 10. While I felt confident, I was relying on the other person for that validation. And when they said I was a zero, I just remember crying because I was so stunned.
I can now lovingly look back at that experience, and give myself support and love when I was feeling like I had almost no worth in many aspects of my life.
A few of things that have really helped me to get to this point, and it’s a continual process that you have to work on, have been:
1) Following my excitements and my joys.
I remember when I first started doing photoshoots with myself, it was the most exciting thing I was doing in my life at that time! In one instance, I was shooting at a little cafe by my old apartment. I typically liked to go to places that were more isolated, but I had a particular vision that I wanted to bring to life.
Not wanting to be obnoxious and disturb others, I sat in the corner of the cafe in the back of the outdoor area, and had my little tripod and remote to do the pictures. A group of people sat near me, and the one girl was very obviously making fun of me— pointing, laughing, staring. Was I uncomfortable? Absolutely. Did I care? No. I was far too excited because I had finally gotten the shot and it turned out so good!
My high school self, would’ve 1) never gone out to eat by myself and 2) never had the courage to do that photoshoot with people close by 3) taken that bullying personally.
2) Try to become more conscious of where you are putting your worth and power into external people or things.
3) Remind yourself that your worth is not connected or tied to anything but Divine Love.
Love Always, The Serene Sol
