I know I am late to the game, but I just finished reading To Shake the Sleeping Self by Jedidiah Jenkins, and it was such a great book! I highly recommend it!
I really resonated with this stage in his life, the feeling of needing to leave your “everyday” life to “find yourself” or have some earth-shattering-life-awakening experience.
While I didn’t go on a crazy cool biking trip from Oregon to Patagonia, I did have my own solo adventure where I traveled to Paris for a month (with a small stint in Scotland). I too felt like I was at a cross roads with my faith, and using this trip as a way to jump into something different, find some new direction in life; overall make me feel less lost.
I think I ended up coming out of the trip even more lost in some ways, but in other ways, I felt more directed. Such as my faith. I’ve prayed the rosary almost every day since I have been back and it has been something very healing for my heart. Do I agree with everything the Church says? No. But I am learning that I can redefine how I want to practice my religion, and customize to how it feels right for me. I love that flexibility and freedom, it takes such a weight off of the expectations.
In my health, I have come out of it feeling invigorated by joining running clubs and working out more routinely.
In general, I see that I love the creativity side of life, and perhaps I can use my words and art more in life. For a career? I’m not sure. But at least for fun. That side of me deserves to have a voice and be heard.
So where did I feel like I felt more lost? The overarching question we all ask ourselves:
What Am I Going to Accomplish In this Life?
This is especially where I related to Jedidiah’s book, quotes that stroked that question that lives rent free in my mind.
“The Mark of Adulthood is When We Happen To Life” – Jedidiah Jenkins
“Thirty Years Old. I was now an adult with or without my consent, and adults are responsible for their loves. I wasn’t going to become someone I didn’t choose to be”- Jedidiah Jenkins
“A dream is the myriad ways we could be fulfilled in life using our talents to make beautiful things. But then there are goals. Goals are specific guesses at what we could do or become to fulfill our dream. Dreams are like a compass that points in a general direction and goals are the islands in the ocean along the way. Goals are just guesses at where to make a home, and when they aren’t right, we try again. It isn’t a death, and it doesn’t negate the dream.”- Jedidiah Jenkins
“Crossing point from known to unknown. From my language to their language. From trusting myself to trusting God.”- Jedidiah Jenkins
“Leo Tolstoy wrote in his journal ‘I am twenty four years old and I have still done nothing…I am sure it’s not for nothing that I have been struggling with all my doubts and passions for the past eight years. But what am I destined for? Only time will tell.'”- Jedidiah Jenkins
I agree with both Leo and Jedidiah; only time will tell…
X,
Cindy